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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574102">it's where my demons hide</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/butraura/pseuds/butraura'>butraura</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>3x12 - Demons, Airlock scene, Basically it's 3x12 up until Jasper and Octavia get kidnapped, Bellarke, Bellarke end, But not the canon way, Canon Compliant, Emerson dies, F/M, Then it diverges a little, Until 3x12, short conversation between Octavia and Bellamy too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:22:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,893</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24574102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/butraura/pseuds/butraura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke gets the radio call she never expected to get, and it's Carl Emerson, Mount Weather Security Detail threatening the lives of her friends in exchange for hers. So of course she's going to make a trade. But Bellamy isn't having that. They go together and things go south.</p>
<p> Or - Canon Compliant story that takes place in 3x12 but ends a little differently.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it's where my demons hide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <span>Look, it’s a lot, okay? Clarke has been barely reconnected with her friends for 24 hours and already Sinclair is dead and her friends are in the airlock while Emerson impatiently waits for Clarke’s arrival. And it’s not like she shouldn’t have seen this coming - she killed his family and then opted to spare his life, if anything to ensure that he had to live with the things he’d done like she did. She didn’t get a reprieve from the guilt weighing on her conscious, so why should he?</span></p>
<p>
  <span> Apparently he agreed with the sentiment, because he came for her. But this time she nearly needed a third hand to count how many people he was about to kill to satisfy his personal vendetta against her. He wanted her to suffer. Now it was simply a question of whether or not she could take him out with her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She’s been pacing back and forth for what seems like an eternity, but if she were to hazard a guess it’s been about a minute. She’s barely hearing what Bellamy’s saying while he throws ideas her way about how to handle this and she’s just trying to figure out how to kill Emerson. Ultimately, the goals were the same. Save their friends, kill their captor. But could she do those things without becoming a casualty? That’s the question bouncing around her head while she tries to pretend she isn’t frantic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy must decide then, that her pacing is unbearable, and roots himself behind her before she can turn and create familiar grooves in the floor. He puts his hands on her shoulders, bringing her back to Earth. “Clarke,” his voice breaks through, and she looks at him like she’d forgotten he was there. “Are you listening?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She frowns. “No,” she admits. “Sorry, I-” She shakes her head. “There’s no good way for this to end.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods. “I know. We just have to wait for the least disastrous outcome.” He doesn’t mean to let his hands linger, but he does, and the heat of their skin becomes almost dangerous the longer they’re touching, so he lets go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She bites her lip. She’s about to say something but a voice resonates through the radio amidst the static. “Do you have an answer for me, Clarke?” Emerson prompts impatiently, his voice dripping with venom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She can’t help the hollow laugh that escapes her, and she’s grateful he can’t hear her without pressing the com button. She clicks it. “An answer,” she echoes. “Sure. I’ll be there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She drops her hand and starts off toward the door, but a hand grabs her forearm. She turns with a huff, but Bellamy isn’t having any of it. “Clarke, what are you doing?” he asks her incredulously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Going to save them,” she tells him, reclaiming her arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you going to do?” he laughs, the irritation in his voice giving him away. “Walk up to the airlock and surrender?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If that’s what it takes,” she says simply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you dense?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She’s taken aback by his words and can’t help the smirk threatening her lips. “What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, come on,” he sighs, exasperated. “You have to know Emerson isn’t going to just let everyone go. He’s going to take you and kill you with the rest of them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She ponders that. “You’re probably right,” she cocks her head, thoughtful. “But Bellamy, I can’t just do nothing. If I do nothing, they’ll die anyway and I can’t live with that - not again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a deep breath. “We need a better plan,” he offers again. “One that </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>end with everyone I love dying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She ignores the way she’s flippantly grouped into the people Bellamy loves and instead focuses on the problem at hand. “What would you suggest?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Distract him, I shoot him,” he suggests lamely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She almost laughs at him. “Bellamy, you have to know that won’t work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the safest bet,” he reminds her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe so,” she concedes. “But it’s not a good idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you telling me you have a better idea?” he argues.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She thinks about it for a moment and then resigns. “Unfortunately, no.” They’re silent for a beat and then she puts her hand on his shoulder. “I need you to do something for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything.” She can tell he means that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I die-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not dying-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you to take-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be fine-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Care of everyone. Especially my mom.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” She steps into his arms. “There’s only one way this ends. It’s me or you, and you know I’ll pick you a thousand times.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She can tell by the colour slowly taking over his cheeks that he hates what she just said, but she had to say it. He simply pulls her in for an overdue embrace, burying his face in the crook of her neck, holding so tightly he thinks for a second that he might actually be hurting her, but if he is she doesn’t tell him. She instead wraps her around his torso and squeezes just as hard while her face is on his shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pulls away after an agonizing moment. “Time to go,” is all she says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy quickly cocks his gun and tops up the rifle’s clip before nodding to Clarke. They advance on the airlock in silence. It takes only a minute to get there, but the minute feels like a lifetime. The closer she gets the more her hands tremble and she refuses to look back at Bellamy, only feet behind her. She worries that if she turns to him now, she won’t go through with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rounds the corner to the airlock and yeah, it’s as bad as she imagined. Better, because no one was dead yet, but bad because ‘yet’ is the operative word and Emerson stood in the centre of the airlock, looking on expectantly. She slowly raises her hands in surrender and has to swallow the fear rising in her throat. “Carl Emerson,” she greets him carefully. “Mount Weather Security detail.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckles dryly. “Clarke Griffin, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wanheda</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he retorts. “Tell Bellamy to show himself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m alone,” she lies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope even you know that I’m not not that naive, Clarke,” his voice surprisingly warm. “If they’re here, if </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> here, Bellamy’s here. This doesn’t continue until he presents himself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She resists the urge to roll her eyes at him. “Seriously, Emerson, he’s not-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emerson sends a swift blow to Octavia’s abdomen, startling everyone and inciting a chorus of pained sounds to travel out of the airlock. And, as if on cue, Bellamy rounds the corner quickly, gun at the ready. “O,” he shouts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Very good,” the man nods. “Drop the gun and let’s go,” he motions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy looks at Clarke as he lowers the weapon to the floor. Wordlessly, they exchange a look that confirms their plan was, in fact, terrible. He lifts his arms to copy Clarke’s as he walks into his demise. Emerson roughly wraps zip ties around his wrist and attaches him to a vacant spot on the wall, beside Raven and only a few feet from Octavia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It gets worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He steps out of the airlock then and admires his handiwork for a brief moment before shutting the door. “Wait!” Clarke shouts, running towards them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he catches her in her stride and grabs her from behind. Everyone inside looks on in fear, and the way Bellamy’s eyes glint with tears makes her want to throw up. She starts to fight against Emerson’s arms but he’s significantly stronger. “No, no, Clarke,” he practically coos in her ear from behind. “You thought it’d be enough for me to kill you?” He hits the oxygen vent button then. Everyone inside begins to panic at the red light strobing around them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Clarke shrieks. “You said-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you to suffer, Clarke. Like my family did in Mount Weather.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She manages a small blow to his chest with her elbow but all it does is piss him off. He winces and then comes back at her in full force right as she turns the vent off. He slams her to the ground and straddles her, her head hitting the metal ground and dark spots clouding her vision. She sees the group inside watching them in fear, tears fully streaming down Raven and Harper’s faces and Bellamy drawing blood around his wrist as he tries to escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emerson’s wrists wrap around her throat, and he starts to choke her, slowly and absolutely constricting the airflow, her will to fight going with it. She simply can’t overpower someone of his physical stature, and admittedly, she hadn’t had much combat training since being on the ground. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her hands slacken around Emerson’s arms and she begins to drift.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” he decides then. “Not yet. Not until you’ve watched them all die first.” He brings her to her feet while supporting most of her weight. “Not until they’ve suffered.” He turns the vent back on and presses her to the glass to watch, tears beginning to fall as she watches her friends panic once more. “Beg me to stop,” he tells her firmly, his grip on her hair sending sharp pains down her body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” she whispers hoarsely. “Please!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Louder</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he growls into her ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>PLEASE</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she screams with all her might, and he just laughs. Her limbs are shaking from the oxygen deprivation and she doesn’t have the strength to fight him. She tries to stay upright but her legs can’t hold her anymore and she begins to slide to the ground against the glass, despite Emerson’s grip on her. “Please,” she says one more time before collapsing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frustrated, he stops the venting. He really does want her to watch them die. Apparently this was an imperative part of his plan. Clarke rolls her head lazily to look up at the airlock and around at the tearful, sweaty faces. They were being suffocated, and she couldn’t do anything about it like this. Perhaps it was for the best. The longer she was on ground, the less they’d be vented. She closes her eyes in defeat, begging the darkness to swallow her. It doesn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emerson kicks her square in the ribs instead. Then her back, her legs. He straddles her again and she stills beneath him. He shakes her then. “Wake up,” he growls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spends time trying to coax her awake but it doesn’t work. He just huffs. As he stands up to face the airlock, Clarke “wakes” from the ground and reaches for the gun Bellamy discarded, swiftly aiming it at Emerson as he turns around and shooting him twice - once in the thigh, once in the arm. He drops with a yelp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She staggers painfully to the airlock button and opens the door. She crawls in haphazardly and goes right to a tearful Raven, helping her cut the zip ties with a knife she took from Emerson’s person. Admittedly, she wanted to go for Bellamy first, but she couldn’t stand that high in her condition. As soon as Raven is freed something must click inside Clarke because she really does collapse into unconsciousness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy watches her body fall limp and wants to rip the restraints off the wall so he can go to her. But he can’t, so he painfully watches her body go still while Raven works to undo Octavia’s ties. She moves to Jasper next as Octavia goes for her brother, and they hug in relief, the events of days prior momentarily forgotten. He kisses the top of her head and then drops to his knees to help Clarke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He checks for her pulse first and finds a thready one. He keeps her on her side as much as possible to make sure the blood dripping from her mouth has a place to go instead of back into her lungs. As everyone gets freed, they gather around Clarke’s seemingly lifeless body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He kicked her,” Miller says, clearing his throat. “There might be some internal damage.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy closes his eyes in a momentary prayer to whatever deity was listening and then carefully undoes her jacket before lifting her shirt up to her chest, revealing a colourful canvas of bruises beginning to form. He turns her to take a peek at her back, and the result is the same, only darker. He takes a deep breath through his nose as he grounds himself, forcing his blood to stay in his veins. Lastly, he softly pushes the hair out of her face to expose her neck, revealing dark red and purple finger-shaped bruises along the perimeter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns to glare at Emerson, but is met with fear. He’s gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where is he?” he almost growls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone looks up in alarm and sees what he sees, which is in fact, nothing. Miller, Bryan, Jasper, Harper, and Octavia take off in a run to find him, leaving Monty and Raven sitting with Bellamy as he cradles Clarke’s body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She got really close,” Raven chokes out between a cough. She strokes Clarke’s hair gently as she takes slow breaths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So did we,” Monty comments in a pained voice. The truth weighs heavily on Bellamy as he listens to them. They nearly suffocated to death - him included. They survived </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span> thanks to the girl in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He realizes then that the resentment he’d been feeling towards Clarke was still brewing in his heart, despite all they’d been through. Despite the way the truth about their relationship was set ablaze and put on display for everyone around them. Despite the way Raven (under ALIE’s influence) carved out pieces of Bellamy in the shape of Clarke because she saw what he hopes others didn’t see, and that was that even though he really did like Gina, could have possibly had a whole future with her if she hadn’t been killed, it somehow never held a candle to the way he feels about Clarke. The tenderness she shows him in the quiet moments was something he missed while she was gone. And the way she’d begged for his life when he’d tried to rescue her from Azgeda made him believe that she’d missed him too. But then she didn’t come home with him after she’d been brought to Polis and his heart had broken in ways he didn’t know it could break.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was always pulling him apart and piecing him back together again. She was both the scissors and the tape. What he resents the most, though, is that he knew he’d go back to her in an instant. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The others run back in a rush, and Monty shoots to his feet. “Did you find him?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone shakes their heads but Octavia speaks up. “We covered every exit. We can’t find him. He might not be gone, Bell.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy just nods in acknowledgement. “We need to get Clarke medical help,” he says, getting ready to move. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who’s going to help her?” Raven asks worriedly. “Abby and Jackson both took the key.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sucks his teeth at that, but before he can come up with something, Harper interjects. “I worked a bunch of medbay shifts with them after Mount Weather,” she offers. “I’m no doctor but I’m sure I can help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven nods, satisfied with that answer, and Bellamy motions to Miller and Bryan to help lift her. Jasper surprises them all by helping carry her. The pained expression on his face softens and he shrugs. “I don’t want her to die,” he whispers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, since when?” Monty challenges.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Enough,” Raven interjects. “Not now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy agrees with that but shakes his head. “Harper, you take over for Miller,” he instructs. “We can distribute the weight so it’s not too heavy but we need Miller to take the back flank if Jasper’s going to help. We have to be prepared for an ambush during transport and we can’t leave Raven vulnerable because of the leg.” He looks around for a second, calculating. “O, I’m betting you can handle the front on your own?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment he really thought they were going to be okay. But her laugh is empty as she turns around and unsheaths her sword. “I got this.” He frowns. Even in danger she can’t not hate him. He wonders if they’d ever reconcile after Lincoln’s death.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs, then counts backwards from 3. They take off for medbay, carefully turning corners and double checking shadows. Bellamy carries Clarke by the armpits, taking on a majority of the weight while they go. They move in almost complete silence. Monty keeps one of Raven’s arms around his shoulder for support as they go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Medbay isn’t that far from the airlocks. A 30 second walk on a regular day. But this wasn’t a regular day, and this particular instance required stealth and care. It takes about 3 minutes. When they arrive, Monty and Raven take over for Harper and Bryan’s places on Clarke’s legs so they can arm up before walking into the room, guns cocked, Octavia in tow. Miller has his back almost pressed to Bellamy’s to keep a secondary eye out. Clarke remains unmoving in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a moment before Harper ushers everyone inside to an available cot and they lay her down. Bryan and Miller immediately take post at the door while she and Raven hook her up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think it’s that severe,” Harper admits. “Miller said ‘internal damage’ earlier, but beyond the bruising, it’s likely not that bad. What concerns me is the damage to the throat. Emerson is a giant compared to Clarke,” she murmurs. “She almost passed out without him trying to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy locks his jaw. “I’m gonna kill him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A sentiment we can all get behind, Bellamy, but not the time,” Raven retorts. With a few more plugs, she’s got Clarke connected to a vitals monitor and the room sinks with relief when her heartbeat starts to beep almost rhythmically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not quite as strong as it should be, but so long as it stays as such, it shouldn’t be a problem, Harper explains to them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy sits next to Clarke for an hour while she rests. He wants to hold her hand, but they’re not exactly there. He hadn’t quite forgiven her yet for leaving him...er, them. And, to be honest, if they were going to hold hands, he wanted her to be present for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nearly drifts off beside her as the adrenaline in his body dissipates, but there’s a loud thud somewhere around the room. The group of them jumps to attention then, peering around, guns cocked and swords unsheathed. Even Raven grabbed a pistol out of Bellamy’s holster when he’d stood. The group closes in on Clarke’s bed, encircling her while they wait for an attack. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Does anyone see anything?” Miller asks everyone. The chorus of No’s echo around the room. As they begin to relax, another sound emanates to the left, and Bellamy being on the left of the circle is grabbed suddenly and yanked out of formation by the neck.</span>
</p>
<p> <span>He struggles against Emerson’s hold and the group erupts in shouts. Octavia is about to lunge at him but Bellamy puts his hands up, both in surrender and in warning. “O, don’t,” he breathes, pained. She stops and grimaces at him, but everyone keeps their eyes on the scene in front of them. </span></p>
<p>
  <span> “Give me the girl,” Emerson tells them, “and I’ll let you have your brother.”</span>
</p>
<p> <span>“That’ll happen,” Octavia growls, ice in her voice.</span></p>
<p> <span>Clarke begins to stir then, catching the attention of the group, but the Guard trio remain fixed in their spots, weapons hot. Bellamy can’t help but panic because he wants to go to her. “Let him go,” Clarke chokes out, her voice barely a whisper. Raven and Monty are trying to coax her back down but she ignores them, as Clarke tends to.</span></p>
<p>
  <span> “Come here, Clarke,” Emerson coos. “You and me, we can walk out of here.”</span>
</p>
<p> <span>“You’re just going to kill her,” Miller shouts. </span></p>
<p> <span>“Yes,” he agrees with a shrug.</span></p>
<p> <span>“No,” Bryan shoots back.</span></p>
<p> <span>Bellamy grunts in his grip. “Clarke-“</span></p>
<p> <span>“Shut up,” Emerson shouts, forcing him to his knees. “I’ll tell you what, Clarke. You let me kill you, and I’ll let them kill me.”</span></p>
<p> <span>She’s quiet for a moment, clearly considering those terms. “Clarke,” Octavia hisses. “No.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span> Her tired eyes meet Bellamy’s sullen gaze. He shakes his head infinitesimally, trying to get a message to her across.</span>
</p>
<p> <span>She pleads with him wordlessly. </span><em><span>Please let me do this.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>You’re out of your mind, if you think I’m letting you sacrifice yourself.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Bellamy, please.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>Clarke, NO.</span></em></p>
<p> <em><span>What are we going to do?</span></em></p>
<p> <span>The silence envelops the room but the tension is ever present. “C’mon, Clarke. What’s it gonna be?” Emerson prompts.</span></p>
<p> <span>Her gaze never falters, and Bellamy looks around and his eyes widen. </span><em><span>I have an idea. Follow my lead.</span></em></p>
<p> <span>She nods the slightest bit.</span></p>
<p> <em><span>Go with him,</span></em><span> his eyes say. </span></p>
<p> <span>She stands out of bed shakily and Raven nearly tackles her. “Raven,” she croaks out. Her throat sore from Emerson’s grip. “Let me go. For Bellamy.” Raven looks at Bellamy incredulously, waiting for an argument from him, but she doesn’t get one. Instead she meets his raised eyebrows and she cocks her head.</span></p>
<p> <span>Clarke shuffles toward the two of them slowly. Bellamy wants to crawl out of his skin and his heart is racing, hoping - make that </span><em><span>praying</span></em><span> -</span> <span>that it’ll work. He can feel Emerson reverberating with anger and adrenaline and excitement and anxiety and he’s banking on that working in his favour.</span></p>
<p> <span>Everyone watches on in confusion and fear, but trust Bellamy and Clarke, so they’re stilted, frozen. </span></p>
<p> <span>She gets close enough to reach her arm out to Bellamy, and as soon as she does Emerson forgets about the man in his grip and lets go to reach for Clarke. She jumps back as he clamors for her and Bellamy swiftly swings around and kicks the man’s legs out from underneath him, dropping him to his back.</span></p>
<p> <span>She knows that this was the inevitable. And she knows this man deserves it. But seeing Bellamy cock his pistol and shoot him right in the heart is hard. He falls to his knees then, overwhelmed. </span></p>
<p> <span>Everything seems to resume then, like a paused video. Monty and Harper quickly find a sheet to wrap Emerson in while Bryan and Miller help move the body. Raven has moved on to the medbay equipment and stopping it from beeping frantically. Clarke hadn’t noticed it in the kerfuffle but assumes it started when she removed herself from the IV. Octavia remains in stunned silence. Jasper, rather disconnected from the whole ordeal, sees her frozen in place and approaches her gently. As soon as he touches her she collapses in tears and he braces her for support. He guides her away and out of medbay while the others follow behind him with a person-sized roll in their arms.</span></p>
<p> <span>Clarke kneels beside Bellamy and wraps her arms around him from the side. She knows what that’s like and she knows </span><em><span>he</span></em><span> knows what that’s like, but executing a single person is somehow different. She knew that all too well. </span></p>
<p> <span>“Bellamy,” she whispers. Her voice doesn’t seem to go above a whisper right now, which aggravates her. She suspects when Emerson was choking her he damaged some vocal chords.</span></p>
<p> <span>“Clarke,” his voice breaks.</span></p>
<p> <span>“Come here.” She helps him stand and leads him to the bed just as Raven finds an excuse to slip away. </span><em><span>Thank you, Raven</span></em><span>. He sits down and she drops her cheek to rest on his shoulder, never letting go of him. “It’s going to be okay, Bellamy,” she tells him quietly.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>A tear rolls down his cheek and he turns to her. “Your voice,” he comments sorrowfully. She shakes her head and her eyes are suddenly full of tears as he lifts his hand to her cheek, wiping them away with his thumb. “Don’t cry, Princess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckles at that, surprised. “You haven’t called me that in a while.”</span>
</p>
<p> <span>He laughs. “Seemed fitting right now. You were Sleeping Beauty only a few minutes ago.”</span></p>
<p> <span>Clarke throws her head back with a giggle. “I guess you’re right. But don’t those fairytales need true love’s kiss to come to fruition?” she counters.</span></p>
<p> <span>He shrugs. “I guess you’re right.”</span></p>
<p> <span>Really, there’s no good reason for them to stare at each other the way they do just now. Like their eyes could see into each other’s souls. Like they were seeing each other for the first time. Like they didn’t just almost die at the hands of Emerson. He leans down to kiss her. Softly, gently, truly. Her lips tender, but salty from the tears. His hand is still on her cheek but he snakes his arm around her back to pull him closer as far as their bodies will allow. </span></p>
<p> <span>Her hands cascade through his hair, toying with his delicate curls and her breathing heavily against him. She sighs into him, suddenly more relaxed than she’s been in months. For a moment she forgets about ALIE. She forgets about Sinclair and Lincoln and Emerson. She forgets about Lexa. All she has is this man in front of her, vulnerable and yearning. And she loves him.</span></p>
<p> <span>It takes a lot out of her to admit, but she does. It’s chaotic and messy and absolutely terrifying. But it’s also warm and honest and intense. She loves him even when he turned his back on her and even when she seemingly turned her back on him for Lexa. She loved him the day she ran into his arms after escaping Mount Weather. She loved him when he took care of her when she was reeling from her conversation with ALIE/Raven yesterday. She loves him in every touch and gaze and word exchanged them, and all the quiet moments between the intimacy. She loves him more than she wants to admit out of fear she’d lose him. </span></p>
<p> <span>When she felt her life slip away in Emerson’s grasp earlier she longed to touch him one last time. And now she’s kissing him in the middle of the end of the world and she’s sure she’s dreaming.</span></p>
<p> <span>The way her lips beckon his as he’s kissing her is a novelty in itself. He wishes it was a tangible feeling that he could simply put away for safe keeping. And it took him being this close to her to realize that he’d never been this close to anyone before. He’s been with countless women, sure. But never a closeness so intimate he could feel her eyelashes tickling his face as he holds her. Never close enough to make him forget about the impending doom. He feels free with her and it’s in that freeness that he’s reminded he loves her. </span></p>
<p> <span>Bellamy is in love with Clarke in many ways he couldn’t put on paper. And if you asked him 7 months ago if he could ever love Clarke Griffin, he would have been personally offended at the insinuation he could feel anything other than resentment for the Privileged Ark people. It wouldn’t have mattered to him if the Privileged Ark person in question happened to be the brightest star in the galaxy. It wouldn’t have mattered that her smile made him weak in the knees. The answer would have been ‘no’ despite all logic. And so, he’s here. He’s kissing her and she’s kissing him and one of their mortal enemies is gone. Sinclair is dead and Octavia hates him, so Bellamy wants to hold on to his good relationships while he can.</span></p>
<p> <span>He doesn’t mean to get heated but it was the natural progression from where they began, and suddenly he’s pulling her closer with more force than intended and she’s wincing under his fingers, both of them having forgotten she’d been kicked around like a ball only a couple hours before.</span></p>
<p> <span>“I’m so sorry,” he pulls away like he’d burned her and she carefully lifts her shirt to check the bruising. She hadn’t seen them yet but they were significantly darker than they were an hour ago. “Ugh, great,” she mutters, seemingly more annoyed by them than anything.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>He helps her bring her shirt back down. “They’re on your back, too. But Harper says she thinks you’re alright, other than your throat.” He reaches up to feather his fingertips against her neck, so gentle it’s like a ghost. She just nods. He lets his hand drift back up to her head, and he pulls her back towards him, this time pressing a kiss to the top of her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for keeping me safe,” she whispers to his chest, this time louder but to no avail. “You’re always keeping me safe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t you hear Raven yesterday? The devoted knight?” he laughs in her hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard,” she muses. “I just don’t take much stock in other people’s opinions.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She wasn’t wrong, though,” he frowns. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m no queen,” she snorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not a knight, either.” He pulls away and looks to his hands. “A knight would never have done the things I’ve done. A knight wouldn’t have been complicit in the death of 300 grounders.” He pauses. “Or Lincoln.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke instead tilts his chin upward to look at her. “Hey - you did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> kill Lincoln, Bellamy. From what I understand, that was Pike.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” he concedes, “but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>dead because of me. And the grounders....” He takes a deep breath. “I was angry and hurting and I wanted to lash out. And Pike’s logic made sense at the time. I didn’t have you, I didn’t have Gina. I had no one. So when he told us we had to take them out, I just went with it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for leaving you, Bellamy. You don’t understand how much I wish I’d done things differently.” It was her turn to feel her mistakes. “I thought at first that the only way Lexa would keep her word was if I stayed in Polis and made sure of it myself. I needed to keep you safe. Especially because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> safe while I was gone. But the moment I was captured you were put in danger. I couldn’t let it continue.” She forces the pain in her voice back down. “And then I guess we fell in love somewhere along the way. She saw me for who I was and not as </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wanheda</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Not as the girl who befell the entirety of Mount Weather. Not as the girl who’d killed Finn or run away from you all. And maybe I needed that. To be seen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stays quiet, not meeting her gaze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I didn’t know you’d care so much, Bellamy. That’s the truth. I thought you’d be better off without me anyway. You wouldn’t see me as the girl who’d sent you in the Mountain if I was gone. I’ll admit that maybe that didn’t make sense. But really, when do we get time to make rational choices around here? Anyway…” she pauses for an eternity. “I really am sorry for everything. And I’m forever grateful you came for me in the cave, and I’m grateful and indebted to you for all the ways you’ve saved me since the dropship landed. And…” Something in her voice alerts him, and he hopes he knows what she’s going to say next. “And I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whisper makes the moment far more emotional, like it was this secret she was only granting him the ability to hear, and before he answers, he leans in to press his lips to her once more. This time shorter but just as sweet. “I love you too, Clarke. I think that’s why I was so angry at you. Because I was also angry at myself. I loved you even when you were leaving me behind after Mount Weather and I couldn’t say enough to get you to stay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nods knowingly, and she leans her head against his chest. They sit in comfortable silence for several moments, the only sound their breathing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minutes pass, maybe hours, before Octavia comes in the room, her stature considerably smaller, like a child’s. “O,” Bellamy starts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me go first, Big Brother,” she pleads, standing before them. Her gaze remains fixed on the floor. And she takes her time to speak. “I… I may never forgive you for Lincoln.” Bellamy opens his mouth but she puts her hand up to stop him. “Please, just… just wait. I might never forgive that. He was the love of my life, B. But… I can’t stay angry at you forever. It’s eating me from the inside out. I don’t want to alienate you from my life because I can’t lose you, too. So I’m asking you to give me time. I just need time to mourn and grieve for him, and I need time to hate you. It may not make sense but I need the space to be upset with you. I’ll always love you, regardless. But I just need to be angry for a while, OK?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He frowns, devastated by what he’s hearing, but nods. “I understand, O,” he swears. “I really am sorrier than you could possibly know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nods. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>know. Which is why maybe I will forgive you one day.” She turns to Clarke then, who startles at the sudden eye contact. “And you… I’m truly sorry about Lexa. I know she meant a lot to you. I know you even loved her.” She looks between the two of them. “I also know you love each other. So take care of each other. This ALIE thing isn’t going to be a walk in the park and we need each other in order to survive this. I love you both. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” her voice suddenly darker. “If you hurt him, Clarke, you and I are going to have problems.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman before her nods. “I’ll do my very best, Octavia.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you will. And Big Brother? That goes for you too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The conversation ends on a lighter note despite its beginning and Octavia even goes so far as to hug the pair, tears welled in her eyes. She tells them both she’s going to check on the others before disappearing out of MedBay and into the halls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke and Bellamy are left alone again then, and they take the precious moment to kiss once more. They barely press their lips together when Raven barges in. “Guys,” she shouts. She stops when she sees them and she looks around uncomfortably. “Sorry for interrupting. But ALIE isn’t going to wait for you to figure whatever this is out so… We have to move. Luna awaits.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They just laugh then and Bellamy eases Clarke out of the bed, careful of her bruises. “Are you ready to do this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I ready to find the last living Nightblood known to man and beg her to take the Flame so she can give us the killcode to ALIE 1 and we can put an end to the zombification of everyone we care about?” He nods with a smirk. “No,” she admits. “But what else were we going to do today?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughs - a genuine, full laugh, and he wraps his arm around her waist as he leads her out of the room. “I got you, Princess.”</span>
</p>
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